Wake Up Call

    Once again, it has been a while since my last post. I've continued to be incredibly busy! Since my last post I have finished the HCG phase 2 and also started a new journey. I lost 20 pounds, most of my weight loss occurring in the first 2 weeks. The past 2 weeks were extremely difficult and my weight loss came to a crawl where I lost about a pound every 5 days. It didn't seem worth it to be eating only 500 calories and not be losing the weight. I either wasn't dieting correctly or there was something wrong. I went and got evaluated by a nutritionist/fitness coach. The results were shocking and not what I wanted to hear. My metabolism is that of a 44 year old woman's. I couldn't believe it. I thought the hcg was supposed to boost my metabolism but it decreased, which is why I stopped losing the weight. My body has learned to survive off 500 calories when it burns over 1400 calories a day in its resting state. I guess hcg may work for others because I have seen and heard wonderful results. But the diet is just not working with my body. Losing 20 pounds in a short amount of time felt great but with my metabolism at such a low rate, I know the weight loss will be unsustainable in the long run. During the four days off my diet I gained 6.5 pounds. I know I wasn't following maintenance but 6.5 in just four days seemed like a lot, especially when I wasn't eating anything considered unhealthy. :( This is not the way I wanted to end my hcg diet journey, but I have to put my health before looks. I have just started a new program called herbalife, which was recommended to me by a group of nutritionists. I will definitely not lose the weight as quickly as the hcg diet, but the weight loss will be sustainable and will get my metabolism to where it is meant to be. I will also be able to exercise, which I would prefer to do. I have a coach who will help me with the herbalife diet and a whole group of people in my area who meet up every week for workouts and weigh ins. It will be great to have such an expansive support team. Herbalife has 3 programs: weight loss, weight management, and weight (muscle) gain. To lose weight I replace two meals with protein shakes packed with nutrients while taking multivitamins and a cell activator which helps the body absorb nutrients. I also have to drink a liter of herbalife tea in addition to a liter of water to support my metabolism. Then I can have a sensible meal. Today is my first day, and so far it's great. I was afraid the protein shakes were going to taste terrible but they actually taste quite good and are so incredibly filling. I don't have the urge to snack because I am so full from the shake and remain full for hours. It's like having a 4,000 calorie feast in a cup for less than 300 calories. At first I felt like a failure for quitting the hcg diet but I'm not going to ignore nutritionists who are telling me that my body is not benefiting from it and that I should find a healthier way to lose weight. I'm glad I tried it, and I still admire those who have lost weight and are continuing to lose weight on it and I am always interested in hearing about your success and journey on the diet. It just was not right for me. Thank you for continuing to read my blog and giving me advice and support! I plan on continuing my blog about my journey to a healthier me. That is all I want; to be healthy and happy.

Trying To Get Back On Track

     The past week has been extremely difficult both physically and emotionally. I had one day where I just broke down. I was so distraught at not having lost anything, in fact I had gained back a pound. Saturday was the hardest day of this diet. I cried because I felt like a failure. For some reason I thought the diet would get easier as it went along. I thought I would see the pounds melt off and be even more determined to stick to it. When I hit a plateau and it didn't seem to make a difference whether or not I cheated, I was so upset that I committed my worst cheating offense. I ate a piece of white bread (I know, couldn't even grab the whole grain) with peanut butter AND cocao nutella. The only upside is that the peanut butter was no sugar added, but I'm sure the nutella made up for it. Even though it tasted glorious at the moment, I felt like even more of a failure afterwards. The regret was immediate. I decided to finish the diet early before I disappointed myself even more. Well, obviously I haven't. After feeling the regret and looking at myself in the mirror I realized that I started this diet to feel better about myself, not to see how quickly I can lose weight. Sure I have cheated four or five times, but I am only human and I can't beat myself up over past mistakes. I am moving forward for the full 45 days and I am determined to make the most out of my last 2 weeks. Since going back to this positive mindset and leaving the peanut butter behind, I have lost two pounds. One of them was due to gaining, but I feel as though I am back on the right track. At least I hope so. I want to lose as close to thirty pounds as possible. So far I have eighteen down and this marks my 30th day. I don't expect to lose twelve pounds in fifteen days, but I have to strive for the best results and hopefully I can come close to it.
    My biggest fear coming from this diet is the prospect that I will immediately gain all the weight back and then some. I've been spending a lot of time researching healthy eating habits. I am slowly but surely coming up with a dietary plan to follow for the rest of my life to ensure that I don't get back to where I was. I will write a post dedicated to my nutrition choices in the future after I figure out the details. Another task I have been pursuing is finding a gym or exercise routine to follow. I know that to lose the remainder of my weight I want to eat healthily and exercise since I will have to keep that lifestyle anyways. My goal is to not have to go on the hcg diet again, but I guess I will find out in June whether or not I do a second round. I just want to know that it is possible to lose weight and keep it off through good nutrition habits and an active lifestyle. The hcg has been my starting tool. I'm glad I decided to try the hcg diet and glad to know it is working for me, even if it isn't as effective on me as it is on other people. I've still lost eighteen pounds, and I am proud of that. Two more weeks, I have to stay on track!

At A Loss

     6 days and I've lost half a pound. I'm not sure what is going on. I lost a pound on Sunday but since then I have gained back a half pound and stopped losing. I'm not cheating, and I even stopped running, thinking that might have been the culprit. I also started drinking more water, but nothing seems to get my weight loss moving. The 30 day mark is coming up and I haven't lost 20 pounds yet. It's just disappointing. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I keep telling myself that one day I will step on the scale and the number will be different, but it seems like it has been a long enough of a stall to be worried. I am at a loss right now, and not a good loss.

Consequences and New Goal

   Happy Valentines Day everybody!  Even without all the sweets I can still appreciate the love and support around me. I know that in my last post I mentioned that I had been cheating. I was so disappointed in myself and in the fact that I kept doing it. Shari, one of my readers and fellow hcg dieter, really helped me get past it. Thank you Shari! You being able to lose over 125 pounds on the diet and not cheat at all was an inspiration and a wake up call. I have to say that you feel like my mentor even though you live so far away. You always give me advice when I seem to be struggling or questioning the diet. It's so important to have someone who has been through or is going through the same experience to keep you on track and motivated.
    I've noticed several consequences from being on the diet, some being good and others being not so great. Starting off with the good, I find that when I run/hike I don't get painful cramps in my calves. I've been told that the cramps were from toxins being released from your muscles. Now I just have to work on my breathing. I thought I would be tired on the diet, but I actually feel like I have more energy than I did before. I don't feel like falling asleep around 3/4 o'clock anymore. Of course I'm also losing weight and feeling so much better about myself already! Here are a couple negative aspects I've noticed. I have been getting TERRIBLE breath! I brush and gargle with mouth wash, but the smell always returns. After reading up on it, I found that I have what they call ketosis breath which is caused by your body using ketones (fat). It definitely makes me self-conscious at times. Another issue, is my bathroom frequency. I pee regularly but number 2 is maybe once every 4 days. I keep trying to drink water to help, but as you know I have trouble drinking enough water. Those are the only negative affects that I have come across.
   As I was running yesterday I came up with a new goal. I decided that I would love to be able to run a marathon by the end of this year. I never thought I would be able to do it, but I want to. It will take a lot of training since I can barely run half a mile (if even that!) without stopping to catch my breath and let my muscles relax. Nevertheless, I want to be able to tell people that I ran a marathon, and show my friends and family that I can do it. This diet is the first step. I want to lose the weight and be healthy and fit, not necessarily skinny.
   Below are my before and after photos of my face since before the diet and up until now. It has been three weeks and there is definitely a difference in my face! I have a before body photo but I don't want to show that until I feel that I'm ready to uncover my new body. Maybe in a few more weeks. :)

Before on Right After on Left. 

No chocolate Valentines for me!

     Sorry, this post has taken way to long to be written! My week has been so busy that I didn't get a chance to write. I started new hours at work so I'm working at least 45 hours a week. On top of work I have school, and my classes have not been as easy as I would have hoped.  In short, I will probably not be writing posts as often, but I will try my best to keep you updated.
     The past week has had its ups and downs. There were three days where I didn't lose anything, and then the other days I was losing around a pound a day. My total weight loss is 16 pounds. I'm 1/4 of the way to my preferred weight. I still have 26 days left so hopefully I can lose as much weight as possible by then and be close to my goal. I was hoping to do two rounds but by the time I finish my first round with the maintenance phase it will be April. My birthday is mid April, and my boyfriend's birthday is early May, while our 4 year anniversary is late May. I don't want to be on the diet during those occasions. My plan is to do my best with this round and keep exercising and watching what I eat until I can do my second round in June, unless I've lost all my weight by then. Once this is over I want to drastically limit my sugar and carb intake, as well as stay away from processed and fast foods. By cooking most of my meals at home I will know exactly what goes into my body and I also save a lot of money! It's a win-win situation.
     I have to confess that I have cheated. I know, I am very disappointed in myself. I never indulged on a piece of bread or candy or chips. Whenever I cheat it's little things that would otherwise be seen as healthy, such as a couple slices of banana or cantaloupe. I never thought that I could be so tempted by a piece of fruit. I've passed up brownies, dark chocolate peanut butter cupcakes (that was a hard one), birthday cake, ice cream, chips, pasta, and soda. I still feel bad and very guilty about the fruit. Is it that bad? I have this fear that by eating even the smallest bit of a food not on the list, I will ruin the entire diet. Have any of you had experiences with cheating? Any advice on how to stop? I feel like if I did it once, twice, three times, I will just keep doing it. I want to stop, but I can barely help it.
     I started walking/running, more walking than running though. I follow up the cardio with some crunches and lower tummy work, since that is my problem area. I've noticed that when I follow through with exercising I lose more. The downside is that I become more hungry. Funny story, I was watching the food network show Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives (talk about torture) with my boyfriend and at a restaurant they showed french fries being covered in gravy. My reaction proceeded as follows: "Gravy on french fries?! That is pure madness! Madness I tell you! *starts to laugh maniacally which turns into crying*." I literally went crazy at the thought of french fries and gravy because I was so hungry after working out. My boyfriend thought the hcg had gone to my head. At least I've learned to not watch the food network when I'm hungry.
   Valentines day is coming up. No chocolate boxes for me. :( What I wouldn't give to just have a piece of dark chocolate...ahhh! Instead of going out for a nice dinner, my boyfriend said we could eat a dinner that is on the diet protocol. He'll probably end up eating a pb&j sandwich once I leave, but I'm happy he is being supportive. I think I will make crab cakes again, since they were so good.

Orange Creamsicle Smoothie
1 orange peeled, ice, splash of lowfat milk and vanilla blended.

Shrimp with homemade cocktail sauce.
Horseradish, squeeze of lemon juice, and chili sauce.
All the cocktail sauce at the store had so much added sugar!

My go to beef dish. Easy to make and lasts
for quite a while. This time I added tabasco sauce:yum!

Orange creamsicle once again. You can have it as a smoothie
or freeze it in popsicle containers.

Day 12

   12 days and 12.5 pounds. I didn't lose anything today but I'm completely okay with that. :) If I had cheated, I would be upset, but I have stuck to the diet and know there is a good reason that I didn't lose weight today. The diet has gotten SO much easier. I've really adjusted these past few days. I am never hungry, and sometimes feel full before I can even finish my meal. I've been craving almond milk, which is really weird because we never buy/have almond milk! How crazy! Hopefully in phase 3 I can drink it. I thought almond milk would be a good alternative to dairy but with all the additives the brands put in their milk, it turns out to be just as bad. I found a super easy recipe on how to make your own almond milk without all the unhealthy stuff and I'm excited to try it! I guess I'll have to wait though.
   I haven't noticed a big difference in my appearance except that my face looks a wee bit smaller as do my wrists/forearms. My stomach pretty much looks the same but I've noticed the skin is becoming loose and has a weird feel to it. I'm kind of scared it won't tighten up and I'll be left with excess skin. I've just started doing crunches, hoping it will help.
    I added turkey to my diet and it's such an awesome addition! It's not hindering my weight loss, and I made sure to buy it extra lean. I bought turkey burger patties that were pre-seasoned. I checked to see if the ingredients of the seasoning was a-okay. It's so easy, I just stick them on the grill and they're ready to eat, and very yummy! I love to put mustard on them. :) Recently I made swiss chard, which was surprisingly good, onion soup (yum), and crab cakes (YUM!). All new recipes which were really good. I realized that if I go with my gut on the ingredients and seasoning, the food turns out great. When I follow recipes from my hcg book, they're pretty terrible. I like to look at several different recipes for the same dish and then create my own version. It's worked out quite well. ^_^

Went out to eat at RL and had the waiter add the
side of crab and broccoli to my dad's meal.

Grilling BBQ chicken and turkey burgers.

Swiss chard sauteed with onions, garlic,
 bit of beef broth, and seasoning.

Lunch :)

This is what I'm faced with when I go into the kitchen!
PB and chocolate cookies! Torture!

Onion soup with garlic and beef broth.

Crab cakes! Canned crab with some egg white, seasoning, and hot sauce.
:)

Dinner ^_^

9 days 10 lbs

    My last blog was very negative. I had two bad days and I let it get to me. Thanks to those of you who offered me advice! After reading your posts I was able to put things into perspective and keep going. Yesterday I lost and pound and a half and today I lost a pound. In all, I've lost ten pounds. I still have a ways to go, but losing ten pounds feels good. I'm proud of myself for being able to stick to this diet so far  without cheating. It was hard at first, and I still have my moments, but it's getting easier. Seeing the scale go down makes me want to keep going. I'm still dealing with the problem of running out of recipes. I downloaded a book of recipes but a lot of them have many ingredients I don't even have. Sometimes I wonder if people actually try the recipes or if they're just putting ingredients together that sound good to them. Many of the recipes I've tried have tasted absolutely horrible! I can't believe they would put recipes in a book that taste so bad! So I keep repeating recipes that I know I like because I hate the thought of having to eat a meal that tastes terrible and not be able to throw it away and make something else. I ate eggs the other day, they were SO good! I had two egg whites and a whole egg scrambled with spinach and a bit of sugar-free salsa. It's one of my new favorite meals. :) Before this diet I hated eggs, but after eating the same things for more than a week, the eggs were a glorious new addition.

Yummy Eggs :D